# How To Use Math To Evaluate Your Week

It’s time to play “by the numbers,” an equation of types for reviewing your week. This is a fancy way of saying that Math + blogging = quick post. Much like tired mom + tired kids = someone locks themselves in the bathroom and sobs.

Here, then, is my week by the numbers.

15: Times I yelled, “William, where are you? Answer me!”

38: Essays I graded.

12: People who asked me where I got my batwings.

112: Animal facts William shared with me.

7: Hours sleep I lost from Vivian crawling in with me for morning cuddles.

3.5: Used bandaids I found on the floor.

1: Used bandaid I peeled off the bottom of my foot.

14: Times I asked, “Are you making more work for Mommy or less work?”

2: Status updates I posted about badminton racquets and injured children.

3: Yogurt lids I found on the floor, goopy side down.

3: Times I jumped when the kids’ soccer game was cancelled.

4: Pins I posted on Pinterest, including this one:

22: Times William said, “You love Vivian better.”

22: Times Vivian said, “You don’t love me.”

4: Times I wished I were at a mountain retreat without children.

0: Times I regretted having kids.

How has your week been, by the numbers?

### 37 Responses to How To Use Math To Evaluate Your Week

1. 189: people coming to Tech’s bar mitzvah
7: trips to DSW to try to find shoes that don’t make me look like a ho-bag.
7: trips back to DSW to return shoes, so I guess that’s 14 trips total.

My brain is mush.

• My brain is mush thinking about what you have to do. I didn’t even have 189 people at my wedding.

• Me neither, Renee! And how could YOU possibly look like a ho-bag??!

2. Mom

100,000: times that I missed my family!!!

3. 19: times that I smiled while reading this post

• 19: times I wish I had champagne at work, something you’ve had!

4. 1: First time to a chiropractor
!: First day without neck and rib pain!

• Wow. Now there’s a recommendation. Glad you’re feeling better, Susie.

5. 2: Number of children my wife & I have
2: Number of children we never thought we’d have–because the doctors said so
1: God who had something else in mind
2: Very hard pregnancies
8: The number of years between kids
0: How much we would change the preceding

• Hard pregnancies suck. Mine was not a cakewalk. My brother and I are 8 years apart and are great friends!

6. Great post! Love the half-bandaid. (was that the one stuck to your foot?). Look on the bright side: at least, with the yogurt lid goopy side down, you’re not stepping on the yicky side.

My Math:
3: boys
-1: at college
+1: back from college, with house somehow seeming more crowded than BEFORE he left
3.5: squabbles per week over t.v. remote
4: extra gallons of milk per week with aforesaid college teen back at home
0: leftovers in fridge (see reason above)
4: smiles that greet me every day

• I like your positive outlook, Kathy. The food situation. I can’t imagine…but I’m going to learn in a few years, I suspect. Plus, my nephew is moving to Calgary in the fall to play university volleyball. We told him he can come over and raid the fridge. Uh Oh…

7. Number of times I:
committed to exercise – 6
exercised – 2
prepped house for home showings – 5
received redunkulous offers – 2
countered offer to impasse – 1
blog ideas jotted and stored (somewhere) – 9
completed and published blog – 1
lassoed angst over finishing ms before solo road trip in July – 99
had (semi) productive writing days – 5
had my day grow legs and walk away from me – 2
wrote novellas masquerading as blog comments – 32
steamed bathroom floor instead of doing an ‘ugh’ chore – 3
Thought your post was PRICELESS! Still counting….

• You make me laugh, Gloria. I too have committed to a lot of things recently and abandoned. Good job on the semi-productive writing classes!

8. 3: times my two boys physically got into a fight
25: times my two boys verbally got into a fight
1: DS that is “lost” somewhere in the morass of my 13 yo’s bedroom
2.5: children that have a day off school (one has a half day)
2: times I’ve not cooked dinner this week and instead have ordered out
25: peanut butter sandwiches my children have consumed because they’re still hungry (meaning they didn’t like what I cooked at dinner)
10: computer / electronics privileges revoked for all or part of a day
6: emails to teachers/counselor/principal regarding my middle schooler
3: emails received in response from teachers/counselor/principal
3: TV shows whose seasons have ended leaving me with nothing of value to watch for a very long time (too bad I live in WA — otherwise I could be a hockey fan)
8 million: times I’ve questioned my sanity
8 million one: times I’ve looked out the front door for the men with the white coats

• Too funny, Paige. I can’t imagine having my own middle schooler. I LOVE the age, but as a teacher I get to send them home at the end of the day. And by the way, you couldn’t see the men with the white coats because they were at my house…

9. 0: Number of hours I actually plan to be productive at work today
2: Time I am hoping they let us leave
4: Time they will probably let us leave
3: Number of boys waiting at home for mom to come home so we can go to a baseball game tonight (this includes the “grown-up” boy).
3: Number of craft projects I had to get my son to do this week for his end of year teacher present
1200: Number of times I had to remind him to do the projects.
7: Time at which he actually finished projects last night, the evening before they were due.
1: Number of lacrosse games I had to take the boys to.
1: Number of jersey’s left at home after being in my son’s HAND before we left the house.
1: Number of trips the au pair had to take to run the jersey up to the field.
16: Number of weird goth/punk people I have seen walking around my city today (must be some kind of convention).

• There is no sport that marks summer like the sound of baseball. I’m curious about the goth convention…

10. 1 college teenager home + 1 car (only) + 1 (constantly depleting) fridge + 1 wobbly freelance writer income = 14 new gray hairs.

Not new math. Old (and feeling older) math.

11. 1 – Number of writing conferences attended last weekend
15 – number of us at dinner table with James Rollins last Saturday night
104 – times I stopped Brenna Smith to thank her for teaching me to network at writing conferences
0 – number of books I have published
3 – number I should have published by the end of the year
57 – number of times my wife interrupts me during a typical TV program
0 – number of people I think are funnier than you, Leanne

• Three books by the end of the year? How fab is that, David! And you’re too kind to me. That doesn’t mean you have to stop though.

12. 0 – Number of times I read 50 Shades of Grey
5 – Number of times my kids needed help with algebra and I couldn’t help.
Infinity – How much I hate math. Unless it’s your post. Then it’s
100% love.

(But not like you don’t love Vivian. Naturally.)

• LOL. I’m actually one of those weirdos who love math. My brother tells me I have the “Mechanics Gene” in our family. Whatever that means. Because when something goes wrong with my car, I just fork over a lot of money.

13. i’m stealing you staurday night sign…just because it’s too flippin’ funny…and sadly accurate…

14. 21 – years I managed not to strangle my children since birth. Worth it.

• Impressive. I’m just working on 8. Their birthday is Tuesday. I hope I make it.

• Well they do say the first 4 decades are the hardest! Just remember how cute they are when they’re asleep and you’ll be fine :o)

15. I did not ask where you got the batwings because we have that same outfit here. My week:
3 – naps to catch up on loss of sleep over the weekend
8 – times my husband told me to put my phone away b/c it didn’t feel like a date with me checking my email and Twitter
21 – times I told my children to go to bed
1 – times my children went to bed after the first reminder
2 – pages edited (ugh)
3 – times I promised myself I’d exercise
0 – times I exercised
5 – number of hours I drove home from a fabulous writers’ conference

• Batwings of the Blogworld, Unite! I wish I could’ve been at the writing conference. Such awesome peeps!

16. I lost track of the number of times I laughed out loud while reading your post and all the comments! You have a new fan.

17. Only 12 people asked you where you got your bat wings?! How sad. I’ll give you yesterday in numbers:
8: Hours I spent doing yard work
0.5: Hours husband spent doing yard work
27: Number of scratches on my forearms after said yard work
4: Number of vodka shots I needed to take before the pain in my thighs and resentment of my husband started to fade

18. 2: Times I said “ew” out loud while reading this post!

I like this by-the-numbers style. The last one’s my fave.

19. 4: the light-up-bracelets the girl next to me was wearing at the Coldplay show last thursday (supposed to be 1 for each person).
0: the light-up-bracelets I had.
0: the light-up-bracelets she had been willing to spare.
2: the parts in which my heart broke when she said “i won’t give you any”
27: the times I’ve told this story.