It’s Search Ironic Mom time, when I take actual search terms that led victims to my blog and attempt to answer their original query.
Today’s first search term is below.
Dear Ironic Mom:
Signed,
Annoying Kid
Dear Annoying Kid:
Thank you for inquiring about “annoying mom habits.” If you have to google this, consider yourself lucky; most children can create their own alphabetized wiki on this very subject. But since you asked, here are three examples of annoying mom habits:
- when your mom admits she has a crush on one of the Wiggles;
- when your mom vacuums up pieces of Lego and Polly Pockets and enjoys it;
- when she types on the computer and drinks tea (or wine) while she should be reading you a bedtime story.
Ironic Mom
***
Today’s second search term follows.
Dear Ironic Mom:
Signed,
Sucker
Dear Sucker:
I must admit that I am more than annoyed delighted that you want to know about the “things I suck at.” The list is lengthy according to my children and immeasurable according to my husband. For now, however, I’ll just rely on my memory to tell you what I suck at:
- crafts and scrapbooking
- filing my nails
- filing paper
- remembering the difference between laid and lay
- texting more than 4 words/minute on my iPhone
- answering emails
- doing my hair … or my daughter’s
- shopping for anything except books.
Hope this gets you started on your research. For more items, come for a visit.
Best,
Ironic Mom
***
Finally, in the maybe-I-don’t-suck-all-the-time category, yesterday the jury of the Canadian Weblog Awards announced that I was the winner of the Best Humour Blog.
I am humbled. No pressure, eh?
***
Now it’s your turn to answer the above search queries:
What are characteristics of annoying parents?
What things do you suck at?
Leanne Shirtliffe is the mother of seven-year-old twins, Thing 1 and Thing 2. She lived in Asia for eight years, which turned out to be a build-your-own-family adventure. Leanne writes for Nickelodeon and pens a humour column for The Calgary Herald. She is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency in California. 
