I Believe: A Parenting Manifesto Inspired by the Olympics’ Theme Song

The Olympics’ theme song, I Believe, has been getting a lot of airplay. Makes sense, since it’s The Winter Olympic Games and all. If you haven’t heard it, you’re clearly living in a media-deprived world, which begs the question: how are you reading this blog?

I’ve posted the shortest version I could find. Feel free to hit mute.

Hearing the mantra “I Believe” sixteen times has made me think what it is that I believe, at least in that ironic sense of parenting.

Here, then, is My Parenting Manifesto:

I believe that children are our future my present.

I believe that if I think about my children and the future that I will hyperventilate.

I believe that my children will grow up to be pre-teens who wield sarcasm like a weapon.

I believe that I will be the recipient of most of the sarcastic blows.

I believe that my kids will not be professional actors, athletes, or models.

I believe this to be a good thing.

I believe that I will like the stage where my kids can clean the bathrooms.

I believe that this stage will increase our arguments and their use of sarcasm.

I believe that my children will continue to embarrass me by misbehaving in public.

I believe that I will return the favour when they’re teenagers.

I believe my children will talk to a therapist one day about how I messed them up (possibly by blogging).

I believe that they will talk to a therapist no-matter-what, so I might as well do it anyway.

Now it’s your turn: what do you believe? What should be added to this Parenting Manifesto?