Reason 1: I don’t have enough breath to read my kids a story.
My breath is coming back, but for 9 nights I couldn’t breathe out the simplest story. I’m not even talking some Dr. Seuss tale that tests the dexterity of the most limber tongue; I’m talking reading stories with the simplicity of Good Night Moon. It’s as though Darth Vader invaded my bronchial system. This morning, though, Vivian informed me that she had upgraded my voice to “medium.” Move over Darth Vader; it’s Kermit the Frog’s time.
Try saying "Tweetle Beetle Bottle Puddle Paddle Battle Muddle" when your lung capacity is low
Reason 2: I feel like a hypochondriac.
Not only have I been to the doctor and various labs a few times, but I also have little else to talk about. Being sick takes self-absorbed to a new level. Thanks to those who endure(d) my tweets and status updates. An even bigger thanks to my husband, who endures my whingeing 24-7.
Reason 3: Daytime TV sucks.
When I’m healthy, I often pine for a few hours in the house by myself. I wax poetic about watching TV and sitting on the deck contemplating life. When you get sick and end up trapped in your house, you realize that what you wished for isn’t so great. I’ve watched a year’s worth of trash TV in the past week. If I hear “dual vanities” or “open floor plan” one more time, I’m going postal with HGTV.
Reason 4: I hate missing work.
I’m a teacher who has never missed a week’s worth of classes in my life, with the exception of an earlier-than-expected mat leave. Early mat leave taught me that I’m dispensible, and I’m okay with that. This experience, however, has reminded me that I enjoy working.
Reason 5: I get stuck in the what-if-it-doesn’t-get-better loop.
When things become unmanageable, my mind tends to get trapped in the is-this-as-good-as-it-gets question. Logically, I know (and am thankful) it isn’t. I’m a proponent of the this-too-will-pass theory, but it’s easier to buy into that when you’re healthy.
So, like most people who’ve been bedridden with pneumonia, I despise the illness. And I’m also very thankful it’s me and not my kids.
Leanne Shirtliffe is the mother of seven-year-old twins, Thing 1 and Thing 2. She lived in Asia for eight years, which turned out to be a build-your-own-family adventure. Leanne writes for Nickelodeon and pens a humour column for The Calgary Herald. She is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency in California. 
I hope some rest and a few more days will have you back on track to good health! (I think you can whine just a little bit, who pampers Mom anyway?)
Feel better!!
Hope you get bright eyed and bushy tailed, good as new and worthy of Dr Seuss in no time..
Get much better soonest..! Don’t rush the recovery ..it can be deceptive.
take care
soggy italian huggs..
I’m sorry you’ve been sick. Glad to hear you’re on the mend though, you’ll be blasting through ‘The Cat in the Hat’ in no time
From all I’ve heard, pneumonia ain’t for pansies. Hope you’re on the mend. Any chance you could now do a post on new Dr. Phil euphemisms? I’m way behind.
yay! she’s back! double yay!
Hi there – I am just so sorry you have had to go through this – my husband has had acute bronchitis a few times and that was bad enough to witness and I know pneumonia is a whole different level. looking on the bright side you must be feeling better – you know you are truly sick and incapacitated when day time TV becomes interesting and you look forward to seeing even more “open floor plans with all natural hard wood flooring”. Keep resting and recovering – it’s nice to hear your blogging voice again!!
We just finished an incredible run of Seussical. Want me to send you the video to replace books for a bit? I am happy to share the earworm of “Horton the Elephant chasing a who…” and ” a person’s a person no matter how small..” Does watching a play/video based on a book count as reading time? So glad I am not a parent – too many complicated questions!
Get better soon, V.
Oh yeah, pneumonia is No Fun. I’m sorry you’ve been so sick and hope you feel better soon. I hope someone has been taking GOOD care of you. Us moms rarely get to take advantage of being sick so I hope you’ve been laying in bed ringing a bell for attention (or something like that!)
Glad you’re starting to feel better. I’ve missed your “loving” tweets, lol. P.S. You must tell me more about life in Laos. I’m awfully fascinated by their culture. Do you have any pics from there?
I’m so sorry about your sickness. That SUCKS!!! It takes a long time to recover from a biggie like that. I blame the teenagers.
Thanks, y’all. Not wishing this one on anyone. Still recovering…and trusting that this too shall pass. Your messages mean a lot!