I’m not sure if I was absent-minded when I was pregnant.I know I dropped a lot of things, my fat fingers refusing to grip anything breakable. Clumsy? Yes. Forgetful? Not sure.
But I do know that not long after my kids were born, I started to be able to find things. Yes, the moms-can-find-things gene had been dormant, but Thing One and Thing Two activated it.
In the middle of the night, I could extend my arm, locate a soother in the bedside crib, and plug it into the mouth of whatever twin was about to wail.
Even now, nearly six years later, my Finder’s Gene is getting stronger.
“Mom! I can’t find my slipper!” For some reason, my twins rarely misplace a pair of items. My internal GPS locates the single item.
“Mom! Where did Apple Sauce go?”
Apple Sauce is one of William’s beloved stuffed animals, named after his favourite food item when he was one. Vivian’s version is Milkshake.
Apple Sauce, spotted on William's head, c. 2005
Milkshake, perched on Vivian's head, c. 2005
I am in the midst of making school lunches, scouring the pantry for nut-free items. I refuse to abandon this task to lead the search for Apple Sauce. Instead, I yell directives at William: “Did you check under your bed?”
“Yes!”
“Did you check under your pillow?” With the pantry looking as bare as my kids’ lunch bags, I opt for Pea-Butter, the stuff that looks like peanut butter but tastes like wallpaper paste mixed with a can of mushy peas.
“Found it,” I hear William yell. He skips down the stairs. “It was under my pillow.”
My mom has the same gene. I can remember hobbling around our farm house, one shoe in hand, asking, “Mom? Have you seen my shoe?”
“The one that’s in your hand?” she’d answer.
“No.” Insert teenager eye-roll here.
“The one that’s on your foot?” she’d suggest.
I’d been limping around the house, looking for the shoe that was on my foot. I’ve also looked for an earring that’s been in my ear.
Just last week, when my mom was visiting us, I lost my shoes again. A different pair. My mom told me to check under the train table. Bingo.
I guess this ability to find things lasts a long time.
With the exception of being able to find socks.
And sometimes sanity.
*
How about you? Have any recessive genes surfaced since you’ve had kids?
Leanne Shirtliffe is the mother of seven-year-old twins, Thing 1 and Thing 2. She lived in Asia for eight years, which turned out to be a build-your-own-family adventure. Leanne writes for Nickelodeon and pens a humour column for The Calgary Herald. She is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency in California. 
what about my marbles? i hear they’re missing too.
Great post – no, I have not gained any new faculties since becoming a mother, merely lost some, my memory being the main one with Momnesia leading me into all sorts of problems and costly errors. My husband says I also lost my sense of humor and I did, for a long time, buried in being sensible Mom but I think it is finally coming back.
I won’t bore you with stories of the figure I once had and have lost as we all suffer from those issues I know
Yes, I have! I have acquired different voices for each stage of my childrens lives.
First voice: For the first 2 years, it’s your “Romper Room” voice…Then, comes
the “I mean business voice (it will get you through the terrible 2′s
Only 2 more voices after that…”Drill Sergeant” voice, for those teen years and,
finally the “Controlled Hysteria voice”…IT’S A FOREVER KIND OF VOICE!
yes, i too have earned the ‘i can find anything gene’
its been accompanied by the ‘what was i going to say gene” (i litterally had to pause and remember what i was going to say..
these come with the ‘patience is a virtue’ and ‘cheap is not cheap enough’ genes.
I can smell pee and identify its source from remarkable distances. It comes from being a kindergarten teacher and now that I am a mother its grown to superhuman strength.
I was born without this gene. I couldn’t find where my daughter had put her belt yesterday and it was all my fault. Poor child being raised by such incompetence…
Where do the socks go? Solve that and you’re an instant millionaire
My husband calls me “the keeper of all knowledge.” He is referring to my ability to know where anything is that anybody in the house is looking for. I have to tell you it is a big job knowing where everything is at any given moment.
I definately have the finder gene. My boys can look for something all day, in a specific location like their room or our camper, and not find it. I go to that same location and find the item in under 2 minutes. I am also very, very good at finding tiny objects on the floor – the back of an earring on the carpet for example.
Great blog! I am loling at my desk.
I don’t know if it started when I had kids but it seems to have happended around the same time. I can find things in my purse, while driving, without having to look in my purse. If you’d ever seen inside my purse, you would be amazed at this little feat.