I’ve always thought the game Simon Says was boring. There are only so many times you can hear “Simon Says touch your toes” until you yearn to do something more exciting, like wash the dishes.
But then I watched my husband play it with our kids. Imagine a comedian with a drill sergeant delivery, and you get the potential for comedy.
Simon says sit at the table and don't make a mess. Simon says dream on.
So, last weekend, we had an after dinner, pre-bed Simon Says game.
Round One: The Classic
My husband instructs, “Simon says jump up.”
While our kids are mid air, he shouts, “Down!” He proceeds to remind them that he never said Simon says. It’s a quick lesson in gravity.
Round Two: The Goofball
My husband says, “Simon says put your hands on top of each other’s heads.”
Both twins oblige, messing up each other’s hair.
My husband continues, “Simon says keep your hands where they are and jump up and down.”
Chaos ensues. And giggles.
Round Three: The Manipulator
I take over now. I am emboldened by my husband’s antics and decide to go beyond my touch-your-nose repertoire.
“Simon says pick up all the Hot Wheels cars and put them in the toy box as fast as you can.”
Within twenty seconds, William’s beloved convoy is history.
“Simon says put the books on the bookshelf.”
Bye bye Vivian’s library on the floor.
I am feeling pretty clever.
Round Four: The Immitator
My smirk continues. “Simon says pretend you’re Daddy.”
William takes the lead on this one. He yawns, getting into character. “I think I’m going to lie down,” he says, flopping on the couch like he sees his dad do so often. Vivian follows suit and pretends to nap on the floor.
I smile at my husband before announcing, “I win.”
Leanne Shirtliffe is the mother of seven-year-old twins, Thing 1 and Thing 2. She lived in Asia for eight years, which turned out to be a build-your-own-family adventure. Leanne writes for Nickelodeon and pens a humour column for The Calgary Herald. She is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency in California. 
This is hilarious. I’m putting this one in my back pocket for the day I’ll surely need it.
Love the gravity lesson! Gonna use that one–thanks.
That would be my husband – even though my daughter no longer has naps Daddy managed to sneak one in on a weekend afternoon all too often
Great post.
I can just see this whole scenario. You tell it so well. Your hubby is great fodder (pardon the ‘almost’ pun) for child-rearing in the real world. Wish I would have been more ironic years ago, then all that Lego would not have ended up in the Vacuum cleaner bag!
Love the fodder pun, AD. Thanks for commenting! And…I love vacuuming up light bright pieces. My devil voice chuckles. Perhaps I inherited this?
Brilliant! Have just emailed this to my husband, lol.
You crack me up.
Now that is how to play Simon says.
It’s funny what kids will do when you put a Simon says in front of it!
Awesomeness! This is a game I can get into!
That thing about vacuuming up Lego…I remember what a satisfying noise that was. Thank you Electrolux!