How the Tooth Fairy Can Ruin Your Life

We’ve had some tooth fairy adventures in our house recently. I wrote about them in my humor column that appeared in yesterday’s Calgary Herald.

Here’s the beginning:

My twins are at that stage when they lose things, such as their lunch bags, their mother’s sanity, and their teeth. We’ve lost so many canines in our house that the Tooth Fairy had to take out a line of credit.

By the time Tinker bell the Banker swoops in and claims her latest piece of enamel, those teeth are legendary, epic-like in the stories they could tell.

Two months ago, Vivian and William were upstairs, supposedly cleaning their bedroom. I was downstairs, supposedly cleaning the kitchen. While I checked Facebook for the 12th time that hour, I heard more stomping and squealing than you’d hear from cowboys during the Stampede.

Click here if you wish to read the rest of Easy to smile over Tooth Fairy adventures.

Or don’t click. Instead, stick around and tell me what fairy you’d like to visit you: the vacation fairy, the wine fairy, …

Comments

  1. earthriderjudyberman says

    If kids are motivated by money, we might have a lot of toothless adults who need someone to gum their food for them.
    Thanks for the chuckles, Leanne. I’m sure Vivian’s letter was a good one.

  2. Julie Glover says

    Our house’s tooth fairy was very unreliable. I blame work conditions and the Great Tooth Fairy Strike of 2006. There once was a letter written to the Tooth Fairy to explain an absent tooth, and one night that Ms. TF didn’t make it because her wing was giving her problems. She appeared the next night and left a little something extra for her trouble. After that, there were a few other “oops, forgot” nights that had to be made up for by extra money the next night. Like I said, unreliable.

  3. claywatkins says

    I remember when my kids O and W lost teeth – they didn’t want to hand ‘em in or over either. But the tooth fairy arrived and scooped ‘em up. Somewhere my wife has them squirreled away to be returned when they reach adulthood and kids of their own…. Ahh the tooth fairy! Congrats on the publication!

  4. serre says

    I need a “I-couldn’t-care-less” fairy to sprinkle me with all her non-caring magic fairy dust, so I can keep working in my office without getting IBS.

  5. Brown Road Chronicles says

    We just told our 11 yr old son, our youngest, about who the tooth fairy was… pretty sure he already knew… then of course, the whole “creepy people and things that come into your house in the middle of the night on holidays and special events” ruse came crashing down, which we expected. A milestone though.

  6. Missindeedy says

    The stand-in tooth fairy that actually flies into the child’s room at ungodly o’clock hour to swipe tooth and magically replace with monetary reward. And the sleep fairy to make up for the lost sleep waiting for ungodly o’clock hour to finally roll around.

  7. Go Jules Go says

    Ha ha! Even if you weren’t trying to project your childrens’ privacy, I think the strategic blurring of that photo is just perfect.

    I think I would like to Calorie Fairy to visit, and take away the calories from everything I put in my mouth. Or maybe she’s called the Guilt Fairy, and doesn’t limit herself to taking away food guilt? I need to clear this up, pronto. Does anyone know the Answer Fairy?

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