I just attended a four-day teaching conference in Orlando, Florida. I took my husband with me, because I’m that kind of wife.
I left my eight-year-old twins with my mom and dad, because I’m that kind of daughter.
I didn’t tell Vivian and William that the conference was in Disney, because I’m that kind of mother.
Yesterday I returned from a full-day session on teaching pre-reading strategies to students. The class was run by a teacher who’d taught Adrien Brody, a now-famous ac-teur. When she told us that trivia, I nodded like I could picture Mr. Brody. Then she said he was in The Pianist, but I thought she said The Penis. I visualized, just not the right thing.
While I was imagining Adrien Brody’s body parts, my husband was chasing gators–specifically a mom and a baby alligator–and managing to avoid falling out of the boat.
My husband went on to tell me of his adventure trying to find a place to shoot a gun. After following someone’s directions for ten miles, he pulled into a big lot and approached a stern woman in uniform. He asked her where he could fire an Uzi. She replied, “No place around here, but I’ll tell you where.” After writing down the directions, he drove out. And saw the barbed wire fence. He was on the grounds of a prison and had just spoken to a prison guard.
It was amazing that we weren’t arrested in The Sunshine State, especially since we spent five hours with the fabulous Tamara Lunardo and her husband. There were no prison guards, but Tamara and I did imbibe some wine and get handsy. I can tell you this: I love all of her bits to bits. And I’d adopt all five of her children if I could manage to care for the two I already have.
There’s more, including a video that my husband shot of Tamara and me (without us knowing), but what happens in Florida stays in Florida.
Except for the Krispy Kreme hats.
Share your own naughty bits below.
Have you ever ‘almost’ gotten into trouble with the law? Or a prison guard?
Have you ever been lost?