How To Get Away With Insulting Your Spouse

It was Survival-of-the-Fittest hour in our living room. Dinner was history, the lunches were made, and I had unsuccessfully searched for wine.

My husband read in his favourite chair. I pfaffed on my laptop while William built another Lego zombie creation. Vivian hovered, clearly bored.

Before long, she enlisted William’s help and got us on board. Tonight’s game? A Q-and-A session brought to you by the letter “O”. One person peppered another with random questions; the victim had to answer everything with the long “O” sound.

Vivian and William started. I tried it. Then my husband put down his book.

“My turn to answer,” he said.

Vivian and William drilled him with questions. My dear husband (DH) fielded them better than a Major League player at a press conference.

This is how it went down:

VW: What’s your favourite season?

DH : Snow.

VW: Do you love your kids?

DH: Yo, yo.

VW: How are you feeling today?

DH: So so.

VW: What’s your favourite country?

DH: Burkina Faso

What’s your favourite sports team?

DH: Toronto.

VW: What’s Mommy’s name?

DH: She’s a ho.

I’m pretty sure he wasn’t referencing Santa.

One final confession: there were no more long “O”s (or short “O”s) that evening.

Fo’ sho’.

Your turn:
What are you plans for the weekend?
Please use the long “O” sound sound somewhere in your answer.


  1. says

    I even made my husband read this pOst, I thought it was sO funny. He’s still laughing while telling me that, nO, he doesn’t think it’s funny at all… “thOugh” I did have to explain the long O, short o, comment at the end. At least the way I understand it. Hmmmm…. Cheers.

  2. says

    The fact that you can laugh about it and then write about it tells me one of two things:

    1. DH is so awesome he can get away with anything.
    2. DH is set for life but you can’t touch the money if he doesn’t die of natural causes.

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