Where Parents Find Cheerios

Ironic Cheerios in French

I wish I could channel Dr. Seuss. If I could, I would write Green Eggs and Cheerios. Screw the ham. The pigs need a rest. Just ask George Orwell or Doreen Cronin (though Ms. Cronin, of Dooby Dooby Moo fame, seems to prefer ducks and cows).

But I’m a blogger with a Cheerio to squish.

Today’s post is a retrospective of places I’ve found Cheerios in my eight years of parenting. It’s also an indirect lesson on prepositional phrases.

I have found Cheerios

  1. In my bed
  2. Under my bed
  3. In the bathtub
  4. In my purse
  5. On my brush
  6. Under couch cushions
  7. Beside the TV
  8. In the toy box
  9. Under the toy box
  10. In clean diapers
  11. In my minivan
  12. Down the vent
  13. In my cleavage, melting…

Nothing like putting the “O” in Cheerios.

Where have you found (or do you dream of finding) Cheerios?
Do tell. 

Alternatively, what’s your favourite breakfast cereal?

Comments

  1. says

    You had me at melting cleavage (great name for an all-girl punk band, btw).

    Pretty sure I’ve shaken out what would amount to a full box of Cheerios from a carseat on several occasions. Combined with the gallon of milk that could be reconstituted from the floormats, you’d have a meal.

    Personally, I prefer to get my breakfast grains from a can.

  2. says

    Since I don’t have kids running around my place, I don’t have much to add to your first question. I don’t have anybody to blame if Cheerios start showing up in strange places. (honestly, I don’t know how it got THERE)

    My favourite breakfast cereal…… Anything with those marshmallows. They are like a sugar-orgasm. I hate pulling out a box, pouring some cereal into the bowl, only to find that some marshmallow pirate has gone through and plundered the box for that sweet booty. (that sounded so naughty)

    Of course, i then remember that I am the one that did the plundering. It happens every time. The bowl is full, the box is still tipped, and I see a few marshmallows sitting at the edge of the box, just begging to be plucked up and eaten. Who am I to deny their craving?

    So I pluck. I eat. And pretty soon I find my arm burried up to my elbow in cereal and a maniacal laugh as the sugar hits my system. Good times. ;)

  3. says

    After Tech dumped a bowl while I was driving, I declared no more Cheerios in the car. They are in unreachable places.
    Between the dash.
    Under the seats.
    In that crack where my hand won’t fit.
    I have had the car professionally cleaned and I still can’t reach some of those suckers. Someday, I will get a new car. And no one will be allowed to eat in it.

  4. Mom says

    Just finished my 2 weeks of volunteer church cleaning and, you guessed it, at least half a cereal bowl each week on the floor. in the pews, in the hymn books…. but it is so good to have the little ones worshiping!

  5. says

    Ah, well, as a brand new mom, I was changing my son’s diaper and to my horror, saw a swollen ring on his groin. Still naked on the change table, I dialed the pediatrician, freaking out that my precious baby had ring-worm or some other horrible affliction. As I was connected to the nurse, I touched ‘the growth’ so I could properly explain it and … it shifted. You know what’s coming … soggy cheerio.

  6. says

    Love your creative list of prepositional phrases. I’m going to try that on my students.
    Nowadays, Leanne, it’s the cats’ kibbles and bits we find all over. The kids have grown, have kids of their own, and they pick up after themselves.

  7. says

    up my son’s nose. More than once….
    In the VCR (he was born in the ’90s after all).
    Stuck to the dog’s back
    a bowl full in the toilet bowl.
    Cheerios cargo in his army trucks
    Under my pillow. I think it was some kind of offering…

  8. says

    In Matthew’s socks, his collection of rocks; in Luke’s ear, 3 times, I fear.
    In the car, underneath the seat (three weeks later, they were fine to eat.)
    In the bathtub, on the couch, in my hoodie’s mangy pouch.
    Tucked in baggies, up a nose, thousand up the vaccumn hose.
    In the fridge where they don’t belong, in the VCR – I know, it’s wrong.
    Strung along a piece of string, crunched all up in the baby’s sling.
    In the pew at Christmas Mass – (munching on ‘em impedes boy-sass.)
    On the mirror, in the toilet, bet you’re thinking, “Ain’t she done yet?”
    Cheerios, it would appear, are the fun but messy “Toy of the Year!”
    They’re cheap, they’re small, a great distraction – to walls they cleave with awesome traction.
    Thankfully, my kids are growing, and no longer practice Cheerio-throwing.
    They are, however, newly fixed upon taking aim with Shreddies and Kix….

  9. says

    We waste so many cheerios that I actually started buying “Scooters” instead. Probably saves me $50 a year.

    But anyway, we took the dog to the vet and food a “honey nut scooter” in the dog’s ear…

  10. jillbruce@gmail.com says

    Timely! Just this morning a sole cheerio rolled out of my PJ bottoms as I was changing.
    Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

  11. says

    I somehow had four kids in five and a half years (yeah, I can’t figure it out either). So where didn’t I find Cheerios ? More strange I once found a paperback book binding in perfect shape in my daughter ‘s dirty diaper). Guess I didn’t feed her enough that day.

  12. Ricky Anderson says

    I’ve never actually seen Cheerios melt, but then again, I’ve never stuck them in my cleavage either. That’s an odd experiment, Leanne, but I guess if it’s for science…

  13. says

    I remember finding Cheerios floating in my friend’s toilet as a kid. Apparently his parents were trying to toilet train his little brother. They would throw a couple of Cheerios into the toilet bowl and encourage the brother to try to sink them. I suppose it may have helped his aim, but it sure turned me off of Cheerios for a while.

    • says

      Funny! I doubt the General Mills marketing machine will adopt that tactic. I’ve heard of putting a couple drops of food dye in toilet water… As for me, I just waited until my kids trained themselves. It’s my haphazard approach to parenting.

  14. says

    This entire thread needs to be bronzed for the LOL quotient.
    Cheerios seem relatively tame by comparison though. I’ve heard that Legos are infinitely more painful. So if you find Legos in the boobs, THEN you got problems.

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