Welcome to the second instalment of the Worst Toys of 2012.
Yesterday, I awarded The Skankification Award to Ari Roma, one of the smutty sisters of the Novi Stars doll family.
The criteria of the “Call 9-1-1″ Award are simple: If there’s a chance my twins would need to head to the ER after using this toy, it’s a contender. Bonus points if there’s crime-scene gore.
Without further ado, the winner of the “Call 9-1-1″ Award is the Razor E100 Electric Scooter.
Five reasons why the Razor E100 Electric Scooter is on my list of the Worst Toys of 2012:
- Speed. The Razor E100 Electric Scooter goes up to 10 mph (16kph) “delighting kids and neighbors.” I know my neighbours would be thrilled to see eight year olds roaming the street on a motorized vehicle. My own kids would be disappointed the scooter didn’t go faster, so they’d likely be tempted to grab onto the bumper of a delivery truck doing at least 40 mph.
- Rechargeable Battery. The manufacturers of the Razor E100 Electric Scooter boasts that it gets “40 minutes of continuous use.” I’m sorry, but when I bundle my kids up in snowsuits, they’d better stay outside for more than 40 minutes. I don’t want them coming in until frostbite is a real possibility.
- Exercise. What’s wrong with going old-school on a scooter, using your feet to propel you, and maybe getting something like, um, exercise? Evidently the manufacturers are also concerned with childhood obesity, because the “maximum rider weight” for the Razor E100 Electric Scooter is 120 lbs. Sorry kids, you’ve gained some weight; you have to walk, not ride.
- Weight Restriction. I am not allowed to ride the Razor E100 Electric Scooter. See weight restriction above. That’s size-ism, people.
- Brakes. Stopping the electric scooter is kind of a problem. According to one reviewer, “the brake is insufficient. It will eventually stop the scooter, but don’t let your kid(s) rely on it.” In spite of this, the reviewer gave the Razor E100 Electric Scooter four stars. Who needs to brake when a delivery truck is going to smush you anyway?
Coming up Wednesday, the third in the series of the Worst Toys of 2012: The Surrogate Parent Award.
What toys or games did you play with when you were young that could have been considered dangerous?