The Worst Toys of 2012: The Call 9-1-1 Award

Welcome to the second instalment of the Worst Toys of 2012.

Yesterday, I awarded The Skankification Award to Ari Roma, one of the smutty sisters of the Novi Stars doll family.

Today, I’m giving out the “Call 9-1-1″ Award.

The criteria of the “Call 9-1-1″ Award are simple: If there’s a chance my twins would need to head to the ER after using this toy, it’s a contender. Bonus points if there’s crime-scene gore.

Without further ado, the winner of the “Call 9-1-1″ Award is the Razor E100 Electric Scooter.

Five reasons why the Razor E100 Electric Scooter is on my list of the Worst Toys of 2012:

  1. Speed. The Razor E100 Electric Scooter goes up to 10 mph (16kph) “delighting kids and neighbors.” I know my neighbours would be thrilled to see eight year olds roaming the street on a motorized vehicle. My own kids would be disappointed the scooter didn’t go faster, so they’d likely be tempted to grab onto the bumper of a delivery truck doing at least 40 mph.
  2. Rechargeable Battery. The manufacturers of the Razor E100 Electric Scooter boasts that it gets “40 minutes of continuous use.” I’m sorry, but when I bundle my kids up in snowsuits, they’d better stay outside for more than 40 minutes. I don’t want them coming in until frostbite is a real possibility.
  3. Exercise. What’s wrong with going old-school on a scooter, using your feet to propel you, and maybe getting something like, um, exercise? Evidently the manufacturers are also concerned with childhood obesity, because the “maximum rider weight” for the Razor E100 Electric Scooter is 120 lbs. Sorry kids, you’ve gained some weight; you have to walk, not ride.
  4. Weight Restriction. I am not allowed to ride the Razor E100 Electric Scooter. See weight restriction above. That’s size-ism, people.
  5. Brakes. Stopping the electric scooter is kind of a problem. According to one reviewer, “the brake is insufficient. It will eventually stop the scooter, but don’t let your kid(s) rely on it.” In spite of this, the reviewer gave the Razor E100 Electric Scooter four stars. Who needs to brake when a delivery truck is going to smush you anyway?

Coming up Wednesday, the third in the series of the Worst Toys of 2012: The Surrogate Parent Award.

~

What toys or games did you play with when you were young that could have been considered dangerous?

Comments

  1. Heather says

    I have to agree with you on this one Leanne. I saw that thing at hubby’s work and know that my “little” ones would love to have one. I don’t think mine would do the delivery truck, but I could see them building a ramp and seeing how fare they could jump it. As it is I’m lucky I’ve live thought the winter with them jumping ramps with the snowboards and sleighs.

  2. Janice says

    That would be a parent/grandparent nightmare….there’s enough danger out there without adding that contraption to the list!

  3. The Byronic Man says

    See, you’ve touched on what I think is the most disturbing element of most contemporary toys – they’re exactly like traditional toys, but with the exercise component removed. How is that possibly a positive thing? Why is that even appealing to parents?

  4. smcwrites says

    As for the sizeism thing, I’m sure that won’t stop some people! I once spent a few hours putting together a stupid cheap office chair from a huge chain store that shall remain un-named and when I got to the end of the instructions it said “Weight limit 110 pounds” to which I scoffed, let’s see if that stops me!! It hasn’t, and while that should have resulted in a lot more hilarity it didn’t – I have since acquired a much better chair, but who markets an office chair as being for adults and then puts the weight limit at 110 pounds?! They should have said it was for children, preteens, and very small adults ;P you go ahead and use that scooter, those weight limits are merely suggestions!

  5. Lady Estrogen says

    My in-laws just gave my kids a box full of my husband’s toys from when he was a kid – most are metal and I can almost guarantee they’re painted with pure lead. Yay! Thanks, ma.

    And the only thing possibly worse than the Razor scooter are the shoes with wheels. I mean, really??!?! WALK.

  6. sisterhoodofthesensiblemoms says

    Great riff on a silly toy. Hey, in my neighborhood a majority of the kids have golf carts. Now THEY can get some speed. The centripetal force generated by slamming on the brakes and fishtailing can throw an eight year old clean over the garbage cans and into that pile of dog doo. Ellen

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