The Worst Toys of 2012: The Noisy Award

Well, we’ve made it to the final award in my list of The Worst Toys of 2012.

The final presentation is The Noisy Award. This award goes to the toy a parent is most likely to (a) yank the batteries out on Boxing Day, (b) drive over it with a zamboni on New Year’s, or (c) re-gift it to a niece or nephew who lives across the country come spring.

Without further ado, I present this year’s Noisy Award to the Minnie Mouse Bow-tique Sing & Stroll Musical Purse.

Five reasons why the Minnie Mouse Bow-tique Sing & Stroll Musical Purse should be destroyed:

  1. It’s way too easy to operate. I imagine it would start playing the moment you shoved it into your toy box or frisbee-d it over your fence.
  2. It has many pre-recorded Minnie Mouse songs that will make you wish for a quick death.
  3. It has voice effects which lets your child transform her voice to sound like Minnie Mouse and record it. Clearly we need more girls who sound like airheads.
  4. Two reviewers (out of two) complained that the microphone broke within two weeks. Cynical me thinks both sets of parents purposely yanked out the microphone.
  5. The Sing and Stroll Musical Purse has an applause button. Because we need to reward girls when they sound like airheads.

Still not convinced? Play this sound bite. It’s twenty-eight seconds of pure helium hell.

Now it’s your turn. How would you recommend parents destroy the Minnie Mouse Bow-tique Sing & Stroll Musical Purse?

Comments

  1. says

    My kids would love this, but me not so much. Thanks seriously for sharing and will make sure to keep this one far away from their eyes (out of sight of out mind!).

  2. says

    Why, why, WHY did I click that sound-bite link? I think my ears are bleeding. Reminds me of a toy the Reds got last year: it’s a garbage truck thing that comes to life and chomps and makes garbage truck noises. The worst part is, the ‘OFF’ button in INSIDE the stupid thing, past the batteries and all. The best part? One day, the kids put it next to Mark’s side of the bed and make it chomp and groan. Mark shot up out of dead sleep, hollering, “CRAP! It’s garbage day! Quick, hold the truck!” while the Reds and I simply fell apart laughing.

  3. says

    Gallagher’s hammer is too good for this purse! You need Michael Palin (from A Fish Called Wanda) driving a steamroller over Minnie as she says, “Bye-bye now!”

    The noisiest toy we ever had was a sword that buzzed and clanged. I swear that the battery in my camera goes out after a day, but the batteries from noisy kids’ toys last a lifetime!

  4. says

    I’m with Susie! Etch a Sketch and the (silent) Princess Castle. I know its not about me but I hate noisey toys the most. The horse that has to make the loud galloping noises. I have a particular sister-in-law that loves to torment me by sending our kids these noisey toys. They are always the first to be ‘misplaced’.

  5. says

    Fire. A good parent should throw it in the fireplace. If cartoons are right, the high pitched Minnie voice should sound like Barry White during the purse last seconds. That should set things right…. right? Uhm.

  6. says

    These toys are made for one reason only – payback. I so want to buy this for my niece – payback time with annoying noisy toys to her parents!

  7. says

    the best way to destroy the disney toy of hell would be to either take it to the garage and back over it with the car or make it have an unfortunate accient with some lighter fluid and some matches on the grill.

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