Why I Euthanize My Plants

Euthanize PlantsMy husband took our poinsettia to his table at the flea market yesterday. Someone adopted it.

I kill plants.

Except poinsettias.

It scares me that they survive, even thrive, under my cycle of care (less-ness).

This is how I care for my plants:

  • Weeks One and Two: ignore
  • Weeks Three and Four: water daily, out of guilt

I had a cactus that exploded during Week Four.

But the poinsettia? It lives. Just to spite me.

So it was time to get rid of it. 

Good thing my attitude towards children is different. Mostly.

Are you a plant person?
Have you ever killed something?

Comments

  1. says

    My grandmother had such a green thumb, but alas I didn’t inherit that one from her. So, in answer to your question, I have a black thumb and so not good with plants. And with you on that at least I am better with kids, lol!! :)

  2. says

    I have one plant left but there used to be more. One I have decided to keep even though it is dead to remind me how fragile life is…and it makes a lovely setting for the nativity at Christmas (looks like hay because it was grass.)

  3. says

    Somehow, I have a green thumb outside, but a black thumb inside. I cannot explain it, but for some reason I can’t keep indoor plants alive. Perhaps because they’re not on automatic reticulation…

  4. about100percent says

    My black thumb is latent. Plants thrive in my house for years, and then one day they give out. It’s heart-breaking, really. Outside flowers and plants are always on their own. Gardening is really not a strength of mine. Or desire, really.

  5. says

    If they weren’t so dang expensive, I’d get one of those “rent a plant” services like they have in Corporate America. Someone comes in to care for and talk to them once a week.

    Taking care of houseplants and gardening are both on the FavoUrite Spectator Sports list.

    The Poinsettia? I’d worry. They’re poisonous. That one may have been sent from The Planet of the Plants to wait you out…tease you into using them as colorful garnish on a salad. [Cue Twilight Zone theme song.]

  6. says

    I purchased a Poinsettia this past Christmas from my niece who was having a fund raiser for her band. I never had one before. It was beautiful! Well, it’s now done and I’m wondering what to do with it. You’ve answered my question. Just ignore it. I can do that.

  7. says

    A cactus EXPLODED? Is that a THING? I fee like you’re being completely serious.

    I once plant / cat-sitted for a friend when I was in college. One of those things survived the week.

  8. says

    I tell my plants, “You have to be tough around here!” I get angry if they have the nerve to complain, or wilt, in the summer. They know I’m busy and will eventually get around to watering them. Again, “you have to be tough!”

  9. says

    Keeping plants alive is my lifelong goal. A goal in which I fail. It makes me so mad because I love plants and flowers and herbs and veggies and all live growing things. I think they die on purpose to keep me humble.

  10. says

    I’ve always said I have a brown thumb. In fact, I secretly hate when something bad happens (illness, death in the family, etc.), and someone gives us a plant as a gift. Then I feel doubly bad! Not only is my loved one dead, but now I’m certain to kill this beautiful plant.

  11. says

    Last week Friday my husband and I wanted to make cocktails to enjoy while the sun was setting, when I could not find fresh mint I decided to buy a mint plant. When I arrived home he looked at the plant and said, “You are going to die.”

  12. says

    Just unsubscribed and resubscribed to your blog for the umpteenth time since changing my email address. I hope WordPress catches on this time and starts sending me email notices of your posts.

  13. says

    I kill them all too. I don’t even have a live plant in my home at this moment… I can’t even even keep the ones outside alive. Its as if I walk passed them a certain number of times and they just give up. Now I am sad…
    Carrie from Just Mildly Medicated

  14. Princess Judy says

    I found out the secret to my grandmother’s amazing green thumb–as soon as a plant started looking bad she’d toss it and buy a new one. She was pretty good with them too, so it isn’t like this was a weekly thing. I used to do okay with plants but now I have cats. You get one or other.

  15. says

    I’ve killed every plant I’ve ever tried to own, indoors or out. At least I have a built-in excuse now for houseplants in that no sunlight reaches the inside of my house.

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