Category Archives: Memories No Longer Repressed

Remembering School Dances and the Uncertainty of Adolescence

Junior High ~ Punk Dance

The 1980s

I loved getting ready for school dances. My best friend, C, and I would try on outfits, style each other’s hair, and apply make-up. This was unusual for us since we were jocks. Our normal school attire consisted of jeans, sweatshirts, runners, and barrettes or ponytails. Playing dress-up was fun, even if we did burn our ears with the curling iron, use a coat hanger to zip our Jordache jeans, and backcomb our hair until we defied Newton and his laws. All the while we’d giggle and be ourselves for the last time that Friday night.

Once we’d arrived at the gym, we’d join other girls and dance in a large circle. The boys lined the walls, leaning, joking, watching. I did the side-to-side shuffle with my feet, never sure what to do with my arms. I’d watch other girls and would try to mimic them, certain that they were dancing the right way. I seemed to hover above the circle, observing everyone, judging myself. How could someone so comfortable in that same gym with her basketball body not own it when she was dancing in the dark?

Eventually, the DJ would play a slow song, maybe Against All Odds, maybe Every Rose Has Its Thorn. C would find her boyfriend. She always had one. I never did. I’d pause momentarily near the court’s centerline, checking for any movement approaching. Inevitably, there was none. I’d follow the sheep into the fluorescent-lit hallway. I’d slurp water from the fountain and reenter the noisy darkness, searching for any girl I knew. I’d stand beside her and would watch the couples dancing: the straight-armed nervous ones, shuffling heavily in a repetitive side step; and the couply-couples draping their bodies over each other, hands roaming, feet anchored.

When the next ballad followed, there was both hope and terror as boys walked nearby.

Please ask me to dance.

Please don’t ask me to dance.

Sometimes I did get asked to dance, often by a boy a head shorter than me, a boy whose sleepy eyes were level with my breasts.

Don’t look at them.

Don’t look at my eyes either.

Don’t.

Do.

Sometimes a boy much older would ask me to dance. A boy whose wiry body knew what he wanted.

Please let Stairway To Heaven end.

Please let Stairway To Heaven go on.

The uncertainty of adolescence teetered amidst those two pleas.

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What are your memories of school dances?

What’s in a Name?

I love name stories. The funny ones, the misunderstood ones, the weird ones.

I have a lot of name stories. I’ve been Leanne Shirtliffe since the day I was born, and that same name will be etched into my tombstone one day. Life with this name is entertaining, to say the least.

Here are 10 Ways You Can Twist My Name:

  1. Forget the r, and become Leanne Shitliffe. Yes, letters have arrived in the mail this way.
  2. Lose one of the f’s, and you are now Shirtlife.
  3. Add a c in the middle, and you become Leanne Shirtcliffe.
  4. Add a t to the end, and voila: introducing Leanne Shirtlift. Not that a 16-year-old guy would ever say this to a developing 13-year-old girl. (Pass the sarcasm, please).
  5. Listen to your friend’s dad call you Lion Shirtsleeves.
  6. Change the first vowel to an o, and you become Leanne Shortliffe, which is rather ironic when you’re tall.
  7. Wait in a Thai waiting room for three petite women to consult each other before calling “Lennie Shh.., Lennie Sh..ur.., Lennie Shur-something?”
  8. Find your name in several basketball tournament programs listed as “Leanne Shirtless.”
  9. Listen to announcements over the high school P.A. system written by your witty coach: “The varsity girls surprised everyone by playing Shirtless for the entire game.”
  10. Swoon as a poet reinvents your name: Lean and Shuttle on Life.

Why all this name reflection?

Well, I’m getting my name out there. I’ve added Leanne Shirtliffe to my blog title, and I’ve changed my twitter handle to @LShirtliffe.

I am finally heeding the advice of Kristen Lamb, social media expert extraordinaire to writers everywhere, and author of the brilliant books We Are Not Alone and Are You There Blog? It’s Me, Writer. Kristen gave me the push to put my name out there, to become the writer I am (and want to be) by claiming my name. And when I did switch my Twitter name from @Ironic_Mom to @LShirtliffe, Kristen championed me.


So today, for my 200th post, I’m getting serious about being funny. I’m still the same ol’ ironic mom with a healthy side-order of snark; there’s just a more visible name behind that sass.

Swag For You

I started this blog for many reasons, the least romantic being “because two agents told me to.” But I’ve come to love blogging because of you, my readers. Some of you lurk, some of you comment; regardless, I appreciate all of you. In short, you rock.

So, to celebrate my 200th post, I’m giving away some swag.

Leave me a comment – maybe tell me a story about your name – and you’ll be entered to win one of five prizes below.

Prize 1: A set of the most amazing kids’ cards, Spark Story Starters. These creative cards for kids are the brainchild of Tamara Vukusic, an amazing woman I met at the Surrey International Writers Conference. If you want your kids to develop their creativity, you need these cards. Go to Spark Story Starters to check them out. There’s even an iPhone app.

Prize 2: A book and CD of Froggy in My Throaty. My sister-cousin, Sonja Reisdorf, is the talented author and singer; I also suspect she is one of the women my husband thinks is funnier than me. Her website is at Wee Be Jammin and she’s just released her first full children’s CD. Froggy in My Throaty is a catchy tune that never fails to get my twins jumping, dancing, and knocking over heirlooms.

Prize 3: A stunning, modern-style mango wood vase from Thailand.

Prize 4: Beautiful handmade pressed flower miniature cards from Thailand.

Prizes 3 and 4

Prize 5: A Guest Post: You can either guest post chez moi or have me guest post at your site. Your choice.

So, don’t forget to comment. And thanks, eh?

School Photo Day: Remembering Kindergarten

I may not remember the last time my kids had a bath or when my van’s oil was changed, but I remember a lot about the year I was five.

For whatever bizarre reason, I can still name all 25 kids in my Kindergarten class picture. And I can also remember the girl with the uneven bangs, the dimples, and  the psychedelic shirt.

Tomboy me.

I was the only girl who wore jeans for photo day. One other girl, my cousin, was dressed in navy cords, a white blouse, and a fancy blue vest.

We were farm kids. We didn’t own dresses. They weren’t practical, especially not for sporty girls with rough-and-tumble older siblings. Girls who played in the mud, weeded the garden, skated on ponds, and wandered through the bush collecting ticks.

I could write a series on my life in Kindergarten. If I did, it might include

  • My mom getting pulled over by a small town cop while driving me to my Kindergarten interview.
  • My mom trying to enroll me in Kindergarten a year early, since I was one of the oldest of my class-to-be; the school board wouldn’t let me.
  • The Kindergarten teacher–in the first few weeks of school–wanting me to go to Grade 1, with the support of the school board; my mom wouldn’t let me.
  • Laying wide awake in the blocks section during nap time.
  • A classmate often having horrific nightmares during nap time. Years later, adult-me would wonder about her home life.
  • Getting one mistake on a comprehension test. In one square, I had to draw a woman. My drawing was wrong because it featured an androgynous stick-woman wearing pants.
  • Loving the full-day program which started after Easter. I could ride the bus with my Grade 6 sister, and even my Grade 8 brother, who was at the big school.
  • Adoring my brown lunch box, a hand-me-down, with its side panels covered in gold and brown wallpaper.

Nothing like going back to move forward.

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Please go check out the school photos of some other bloggers, such as Keenie Beanie and Clay Morgan. If you posted a photo on your blog, please include a link in the comment section. I promise to visit (and maybe even send you a searchbomb).