When I was on my Spring Break, I volunteered two mornings in both Vivian and William’s Grade 2 classroom. I had to do a craft. I happen to despise crafts. I can mess them up easily.
Those two mornings in a primary classroom were the subject of my latest humor column in The Calgary Herald.
Here’s the opening to Mom Has a Glue Gun and No Idea How To Use It:
There are two types of mothers in this world: those who are good at crafts . . . and me.
It’s not exactly a secret that I have the finger dexterity of Fozzie the Bear, minus the aid of strings that move my arms.
So when Vivian came home from school and told me what I’d be doing in William’s Grade 2 classroom when I volunteered, both she and I knew it was trouble.
“Mom?” she said. “I talked to William’s teacher.”
William heard his name, looked up from his latest Lego creation and proceeded to ignore his sister.
“When you volunteer,” Viv said, “you’re going to be doing crafts with the class.”
“What?” I said.
“Crafts.” Vivian paused, looking even more worried than me. She knew my phobia of the cut-and-paste realm. She knew I’d rather hold a boa constrictor than cut my way to cuteness. “You’re still going to come, right? Mom? Are you?”
To read the rest of it, please click on Mom Has a Glue Gun and No Idea How To Use It.
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What parenting or household task do you dislike?
Leanne Shirtliffe is the mother of seven-year-old twins, Thing 1 and Thing 2. She lived in Asia for eight years, which turned out to be a build-your-own-family adventure. Leanne writes for Nickelodeon and pens a humour column for The Calgary Herald. She is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency in California. 
