Category Archives: Search Ironic Mom

Things You Shouldn’t Teach Your Children

Posted on December 16, 2011 | 60 Comments

It’s time for Search Ironic Mom, when I take real search terms that have led people to my blog and answer them as though they were real questions.

TODAY’S SEARCH IRONIC MOM:

IRONIC MOM ANSWERS:

If you’re looking for things not to teach your children, I’m your woman. Here are five things I don’t recommend going all home-school on:

  1. How to burp the alphabet. My husband taught our kids this. Or tried.
  2. How to roll over, shake a paw, and play dead. Yup, blame my husband.
  3. How to swear. Husband.
  4. How to slurp Jell-o off a plate. Yup.
  5. How to use sarcasm. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

Your turn:

What advice would you offer this “Googler” on what not to teach his or her children?
(Sarcasm is welcome.)

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If you’re looking to read more of my writing around the web this week, feel free to check out the following:

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Introducing “Search Ironic Mom”: The Thanksgiving Edition

Posted on November 23, 2011 | 36 Comments

Welcome to Search Ironic Mom, a new series where I (a) take actual search terms that have led people to my blog, and (b) answer the search query.

Today’s search term inquiry falls under the category of American Thanksgiving. Since the majority of my readers are American and since both sides of my family originally settled in the US before migrating to Canada some 100 years ago, I think it’s fitting that I wish you Happy Thanksgiving….with humour.

Here is a screenshot of five search terms that led people to my blog this week:

SEARCH IRONIC MOM:

IRONIC MOM REPLIES:

To the person who found my blog by searching “thanksgiving sayings that sound dirty but arent”:

Here are a few Thanksgiving-related sayings that are inappropriate. Feel free to try them out on your in-laws.

(1) You call that a turkey baster?
(2) My favourite part are the breasts.
(3) Stuffing the bird is a passion of mine.
(4) I enjoy rolls that are firm but soft.
(5) I’d love to go for a long ride on the Mayflower.

Signed,
An If-You-Know-What-I-Mean Blogger

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Whether you’re celebrating a holiday or not, may your weekend be filled with laughter. And to all my wonderful American readers, Happy Thanksgiving, eh?

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Your turn:
Choose a holiday of your choice.
What phrases from it can be read inappropriately?

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