Tag Archives: Calgary Herald

Ask the DH: An Opportunity to Embarrass Ironic Mom

Posted on May 10, 2012 | 31 Comments

My humor column today in The Calgary Herald begins like this:

If you want to know how to ruin Mother’s Day, ask my husband. He was born on Mother’s Day. This year, his birthday once again falls on Sunday, and in the reality game of celebrations, birthdays trump pushing a kid (or two) out your vagina. (To continue reading, go to Why celebrating Mother’s Day Makes Me Want To Drink).

In honor of my husband’s birthday which is ruining Mother’s Day because he’s at work and I have the kids all day, I am giving you the opportunity to ask him questions. In the great tradition of stealing other people’s ideas, I am riding on the coattails of Tamara Outloud, who invited her readers to submit questions that would be answered by her husband.

This idea scares me. If you don’t know my dear husband (DH), consider yourself warned. If you want proof of his twisted sense of humor, check out 5 Blog Posts My Husband Wanted To Write in 2010, when I was battling pneumonia:

If you want to know some (more) of his interests, here are a few:

  • sports, sports and sports (mostly NBA, NFL, MLB, and rugby)
  • stand-up comedy
  • serial killer books, depressing Russian Lit, and anything Gulag related
  • The Walking Dead, The Sopranos, The Wire, Dexter

So in the comments below,
ask any questions (serious or quirky) about me, about Canada, about whatever keeps you up at night.
My DH will answer them in a guest post next week. You’ll get some freaky interesting answers. I promise.

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Posted in Mischief

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Pregnant Women, and Eating with the Addams Family

Posted on March 16, 2012 | 14 Comments

It’s Friday, a day synonymous with going out, or– if you’re a teacher or a parent – with falling asleep in front of the TV by nine o’clock. Before you fall asleep, feel free to hop around to some of my recent writing around the web.

Pregnant Woman or Vegas Tourist looks at the similarities between these two creatures. Here’s one:

Both pregnant women and Vegas tourists … have been known to vomit in public.

Read the rest of Pregnant Woman or Vegas Tourist  at NickMom.com.

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Dinner Is Like Eating with the Addams Family, my lastest humor column for The Calgary Herald, was published last Thursday. Here’s an except:

There is nothing like barbecued hamburgers, unless you’re a vegetarian or a cow. I went through that no-meat phase a decade or two ago, until my iron levels dipped lower than Greece’s current credit rating.

Read more of Dinner Is Like Eating with the Addams Family.

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Are your plans this weekend more in line with 
the Addams Family or a Vegas tourist?

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Posted in On the Move

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Music lessons and liquor

Posted on February 29, 2012 | 24 Comments

My own duet: William and Vivian

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you know I love to complain about music lessons.

As much as I love the program (and I do!), it still is a showcase for my kids’ misbehaviour and their spirited tendencies (euphemism of the day).

I wrote about the trials of attending a music class that requires parents be in attendance last week in The Calgary Herald.

Here’s the first paragraph from my humour column:

If you’ve never had to manage seven-year-old twins during a group music lesson, you’ve never truly needed earplugs, a drink, or a sign that says, “It’s a recessive gene. From their father.

To read more, please leap over to Music Lessons Drive Me To Drink

And in the comments below,
tell me what drives you to drink. We can commiserate together.


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