Here’s an excerpt from my latest humour column in The Calgary Herald:
You know you’re a parent when you pray that your children allow you to sleep in. Until 7: 30 a.m.
Last Saturday my husband vacated the bedroom early to pursue his hobby of collecting other people’s useless crap, also known as rummaging through garage sales. I was in my typical sleepy state of sensory deprivation – earplugs in, blackout blind drawn, my entire body mummified under the covers – completely unaware that he’d left to partake in the 21st-century suburban ritual of swapping stuff from IKEA.
I wasn’t alone for long.
Click here to read the rest of The Diary of a Sleep-Deprived Mom.
And then tell me: do you sleep in?
Maybe I can live vicariously.
My humor column today in The Calgary Herald begins like this:
If you want to know how to ruin Mother’s Day, ask my husband. He was born on Mother’s Day. This year, his birthday once again falls on Sunday, and in the reality game of celebrations, birthdays trump pushing a kid (or two) out your vagina. (To continue reading, go to Why celebrating Mother’s Day Makes Me Want To Drink).
In honor of my husband’s birthday
which is ruining Mother’s Day because he’s at work and I have the kids all day, I am giving you the opportunity to ask him questions. In the great tradition of stealing other people’s ideas, I am riding on the coattails of Tamara Outloud, who invited her readers to submit questions that would be answered by her husband.
This idea scares me. If you don’t know my dear husband (DH), consider yourself warned. If you want proof of his twisted sense of humor, check out 5 Blog Posts My Husband Wanted To Write in 2010, when I was battling pneumonia:
If you want to know some (more) of his interests, here are a few:
- sports, sports and sports (mostly NBA, NFL, MLB, and rugby)
- stand-up comedy
- serial killer books, depressing Russian Lit, and anything Gulag related
- The Walking Dead, The Sopranos, The Wire, Dexter
So in the comments below,
ask any questions (serious or quirky) about me, about Canada, about whatever keeps you up at night.
My DH will answer them in a guest post next week. You’ll get some
freaky interesting answers. I promise.
It’s Friday, a day synonymous with going out, or– if you’re a teacher or a parent – with falling asleep in front of the TV by nine o’clock. Before you fall asleep, feel free to hop around to some of my recent writing around the web.
Pregnant Woman or Vegas Tourist looks at the similarities between these two creatures. Here’s one:
Both pregnant women and Vegas tourists … have been known to vomit in public.
Read the rest of Pregnant Woman or Vegas Tourist at NickMom.com.
Dinner Is Like Eating with the Addams Family, my lastest humor column for The Calgary Herald, was published last Thursday. Here’s an except:
There is nothing like barbecued hamburgers, unless you’re a vegetarian or a cow. I went through that no-meat phase a decade or two ago, until my iron levels dipped lower than Greece’s current credit rating.
Read more of Dinner Is Like Eating with the Addams Family.
Are your plans this weekend more in line with
the Addams Family or a Vegas tourist?