Tag Archives: Ironic Mom

THE PREMISE

Last week, I had some fun playing a blogging version of Two Truths and a Lie. If you haven’t read that post, don’t bother. But please go and read the comments.

THE COMMENTS

Many of my readers participated and revealed that they have:

• met Prince Charles
• had their house burn down
• dined with European presidents
• chatted with Michael Jackson
• danced on a table with Michael J. Fox
• been in a French film
• rode the school bus daily with a now-Steelers player
• punched students and crushes in the face
• met John Waters
• led a student revolution in sixth grade
• smoked weed out of an apple
• had cocktails with a KGB general

THE REALITY

So in conclusion, my life is a bore.

But since you’re still reading, I’ll go on.

THE INVITATION

Dear Mom: Please keep reading. I’ve noted that you didn’t score 100%.

THE REVEAL

1. Teen Years
   1. I home-dyed my hair red, but it turned burnt orange. LIE. I did dye my hair red at 18, but it looked burnt red.
   2. I used a coat hanger to zip up my tight jeans. TRUE. They were Jordache jeans. It was a Junior High dance. I had basketball legs. And womanly hips.
   3. I lined up overnight to get John Cougar Mellencamp tickets. TRUE. I was born in a small town.
2. Meeting Pro Athletes 
   1. I waltzed with a professional football player. TRUE. Darryl Patterson. He’s an American who played on numerous Canadian Football League (CFL) teams. He was married. I wasn’t. Before you think I was up to no good, I will fess up that we were in the same wedding party. CFLer Frank Robinson was in it too.
   2. I babysat for a professional hockey player. TRUE. Doug Smail, who played for the Winnipeg Jets 1.0, was my cousin’s cousin. 
   3. I dated a Team Canada volleyball player. LIE. I did date a 6’8″ college volleyball player briefly, but I dumped him when he got cut from Team Canada. Kidding. I just stopped calling.
3. Parenting Lows
   1. I sobbed right after parented music classes. TRUE. William had seriously defied me. Numerous times. I couldn’t cope. When I can’t cope, I cry.
   2. I drank alcohol right after parented music classes. LIE. The lesson is at 9:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning.
   3. I swore right after parented music classes. TRUE. I was recounting the music lesson horror to my husband, mid-tears. 

Thanks for the fun. Let’s play again, shall we?

THE POST POSTAMBLE

Any suggestions of other games we can adapt to blogging?
I was going to suggest Twister…