Tag Archives: Ironic Mom

I Love You More Than…

Over a decade ago, when I first saw my not-yet-husband interact with his five-year-old nephew, they were playing “I love you more than.”

The game pingponged back and forth, each analogy wilder and crazier than the last. When my husband said, “I love you more than a lake full of Pepsi,” the game was over.

~

Years later, when our twins were born, my brother and sister-in-law gifted us a beautiful book, entitled Mama, Do You Love Me? Although it didn’t contain the line, “more than a lake full of Pepsi,” it soon became a family favourite.

This very book was used as the inspiration for poems that both Vivian and William wrote for Mother’s Day at school.

I may have had something in my eye when I read both of their inspired poems in bed at 7:00 a.m. yesterday, the precise time Vivian and William promised they’d let me sleep until.

I can hear their voices in these lines; I hope you can too.

From Vivian:

From William:

Thanks for reading. I love you more than four bars of Toblerone.

~

Feel free to play the game in the comments:
“I love __ more than __.”
As always, goofiness is expected accepted.

An Obituary for EduClaytion

EduClaytion, the blog of my good friend Clay Morgan, is dead.

Here is the obituary.

After three years and over 400 posts, eduClaytion has been laid to rest.

Best known for his quirky musings, eduClaytion charmed the world like a zombie-hunting Flynn Rider. Many will remember his ridiculous videos of the most mediocre quality available. From showers and hot tubs, to stylish Christmas sweaters and inspired dance moves, he shared and bared it all. Nearly.

Quick with a movie reference, eduClaytion’s favorites included The Matrix, Braveheart, Ferris Bueller, The Breakfast Club, and Mamma Mia. He was always one to share his Teen-Jeopardy level knowledge of Gen X Culture, to obsess over PB & J, and to never put Baby in a corner. EduClaytion’s contribution to Western Civilization will be missed. He was a gracious host and a better hostess.

He will also be remembered for creating myriad versions of claytion in words that had no business–vaclaytion, loclaytion, insert-your-own-claytion–a habit that definitely wasn’t completely annoying.

On a couple of occasions, eduClaytion even managed to show up freshly pressed. Although he was quiet in his final months, eduClaytion rallied for a final time with March Movie Madness Part Deux, yet he could not escape the fate once prophesied by William Wallace, that timeless axiom ringing through the centuries: Every blog dies. Not every blog really lives.

EduClaytion was a teacher’s teacher and a fool’s fool. Psych. You know that’s right.

Left to mourn are Kate Beckinsale and Emily Blunt. Maybe. His absence will be felt just as his presence probably was, IYKWIM.

The funeral will be held on Friday, May 18. In lieu of flowers, mourners who wish to contribute a short video to eduClaytion’s celebration of life should email educlaytion(at)gmail(dot)com by Tuesday.

~

In the meantime, please go to eduClaytion to hear his famous last words and to suggest a suitable epitaph for the tombstone.

Ask the DH: An Opportunity to Embarrass Ironic Mom

My humor column today in The Calgary Herald begins like this:

If you want to know how to ruin Mother’s Day, ask my husband. He was born on Mother’s Day. This year, his birthday once again falls on Sunday, and in the reality game of celebrations, birthdays trump pushing a kid (or two) out your vagina. (To continue reading, go to Why celebrating Mother’s Day Makes Me Want To Drink).

In honor of my husband’s birthday which is ruining Mother’s Day because he’s at work and I have the kids all day, I am giving you the opportunity to ask him questions. In the great tradition of stealing other people’s ideas, I am riding on the coattails of Tamara Outloud, who invited her readers to submit questions that would be answered by her husband.

This idea scares me. If you don’t know my dear husband (DH), consider yourself warned. If you want proof of his twisted sense of humor, check out 5 Blog Posts My Husband Wanted To Write in 2010, when I was battling pneumonia:

If you want to know some (more) of his interests, here are a few:

  • sports, sports and sports (mostly NBA, NFL, MLB, and rugby)
  • stand-up comedy
  • serial killer books, depressing Russian Lit, and anything Gulag related
  • The Walking Dead, The Sopranos, The Wire, Dexter

So in the comments below,
ask any questions (serious or quirky) about me, about Canada, about whatever keeps you up at night.
My DH will answer them in a guest post next week. You’ll get some freaky interesting answers. I promise.