Tag Archives: TV

Selective Memory, TV, and Children

My son has the ability to forget just about anything. So far, in Grade 1, he has forgotten his boots at school in a blizzard (he wore his indoor runners as mules through drifts of snow), every detail of what he did in class yesterday, and where he put the remote control to our brand new TV.

This is sometimes hard to cope with; I have a Rainman way of remembering useless details from my past, including every phone number I’ve had over the last three decades. William’s lack of attention to reality is also hard for my husband to deal with, as was evidenced when the William “misplaced” the remote control to our two-day-old TV.

But sometimes William surprises us. Like when he was four (or was it five? My own memory appears to be going). At this age, he could – and still can – recite the entire Slap Chop commercial verbatim.

Something similar happened this morning, more proof that William not only watches too much TV, but also remembers anything he sees on a screen. As one of those kids who goes from sleeping heavily to being wide awake in the time it takes me to blink, he bounded into our bedroom at 6:30, mere moments after waking. He picked up my book light, a new heavy duty one that should weather the worst of anything insomnia throws my way.

Thing 1 in a Noose

Either Thing One is in a noose or he's put his head through a toilet seat.

“Hi, Mom,” he said. I blinked and he came into a blurry focus that those who wear glasses experience.

I mumbled a greeting and felt for my glasses.

He turned on my book light. “How much did this cost?” he asked.

“I don’t know, “ I said. “Nineteen dollars, I think.”

“Nighteen dollars?” he said, in a morning radio voice that would rival the homeless radio guy who’s gone viral. “That’s less than a dollar a day!”

Evidently William remembers everything he hears on the screen. I may start videotaping myself saying things like “clean up your room” and “turn off the TV.”

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Any pet peeves out there about your own kids…

or about other people’s kids?

A Behind-the-Scenes Look at a TV News Spot

Last Monday, I had the pleasure of being on The Calgary Eyeopener, a popular morning radio show in our city run by CBC (Canada’s version of NPR). I had been in touch with the producers regarding my post, “5 Best-Toys-of-2010 That Really Suck,” and they were interested in doing a seven minute segment live on the radio that morning.

Now, before I go any further, let me say why I love writing: there’s a delete key. You can take back what you say before you publish it. Not so in radio. As a result, I was anxious. I said to my husband before I left, “Well, I’d be more nervous if it was TV. Look how horrible my hair looks today.” Thankfully, he’s successfully been through Husband School, and he assured me it looked fine…especially for radio.

After a Google map nightmare, I made it to the studio. I had the chance to chat with Angela, the traffic reporter I listen to daily, about the Draculaura, the Monster High doll I was bringing in. Angela used the term prostitot, a great new word that I wish we didn’t need to coin. I assured Angela I would work the word skankification into the interview. And I did.

If you have a spare seven minutes to waste, here’s the interview.

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I arrived on time to teach my junior high class. By lunch, there was a message on my phone. It was from a CBC-TV producer. Could they send a TV crew to my house after school to cover the same story? The curse of the bad hair day.

I taught three more classes, picked up my kids, and headed home. I threw in my contacts (the logic being that maybe people wouldn’t look at my hair if I wasn’t wearing glasses – O, Vanity). I then made Vivian and William make a cross-their-hearts-hope-to-die-poke-a-needle-in-their-eye promise that they would not say a peep during the interview.

When the cameraman set up, he informed me I would have to look out the window, not at the camera. “Just pretend a reporter’s standing there,” he said. I wished for a hologram of Wolf Blitzer, to no avail. So, we started rolling. I was staring out our living room window, babbling on about the Monster High dolls, when Vivian, who was in the kitchen, crept into my peripheral vision. She had climbed onto our island, was standing on the highest level, and held Draculaura high above her head. Picture a six-year-old Statue of Liberty and you’re close.

I stopped the filming, hauled Vivian down from the ceiling, and started again.

I survived. Two different segments ran on the Tuesday news. And I even managed to use the word skankification again.

I'm hoping TV does add an extra 15 lbs...

But Barbara Walters, your job’s safe. You have, amongst other things, much better hair.

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Any stories about radio or TV?

5 Reasons Parents Need To Watch the Olympics

Reason 1: It’s better than Kid-TV.

I’m not sure what your least favourite kids-TV show is, but we prefer to be patriotic in our loathing. On Canada’s homegrown Treehouse TV, 4 Square is the most despised program in our household, especially the segments featuring four dancers in unitards. If you don’t know this show, cross overly enthusiastic adults with the Teletubbies and put them in luge outfits. Add annoying music that snakes its way into your memory, and you have fodder for driving the sanest person loony.

Much like how Pavlov conditioned dogs, my husband taught our kids to turn off the TV before the 4 Square music starts. Once the TV screen flashes orange, Vivian and William sprint for the off button like two speed skaters accelerating when the gun is fired.

I mean, seriously, if I want to see adults in form-fitting uniforms, I’ll turn to the Olympics, thank you very much.

Reason 2: It reminds you that life with kids is one big event.

As I mentioned in a previous blog, there is so much repetition involved in parenting that there could be a Parenting Olympics. In fact, life with kids seems to be one big event that never ends, or so my mother tells me.

Following the Olympic torch relay? Try taking twins to the zoo or a mall without a stroller.

Carting lots of equipment? Try taking a road trip – or doing a simple errand – with two toddlers. Hello baggage, literal and metaphorical.

Coordinating the Opening and Closing Ceremonies? Try planning a kid’s birthday party these days, which has made the word “theme” a dirty word in my house.

Living on the edge? Try driving a minivan on a freeway when your daughter’s favourite stuffy has tumbled under a seat.

It’s safer to watch The Olympics with your butt on the couch.

Reason 3: It gives you more to aspire to than post-bedtime silence.

I’m a sucker for Olympics commercials. They’re almost as tear-worthy as ads for Hallmark or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Or the winner of the final showcase on The Price is Right (I have a friend who tears up when someone wins).

And when (or if) that Canadian anthem plays, I may tear up. I figure it’s a healthier outlet than crying while my son has a tantrum in the middle of the mall (an actual event earlier today). It’s also more socially acceptable to sob in the privacy of your own home rather than outside Build-a-Bear while your son is writhing on the floor for twenty minutes.

Reason 4: For 17 days, it gives you something to talk about other than your kids.

If I watch the Winter Olympics, I will have something to contribute to conversations other than stories of how my lack of sleep is driving me batty. Not that I have many conversations with adults other than my husband, but still, even if I’m talking to him, I can say things like, “What did you think of that triple Salchow?” I will feel like an expert momentarily, until he tells me it was a double Lutz.

Reason 5: It’s an excellent way to exercise.

I don’t care what people say, but you can exercise while watching TV. I cannot watch downhill skiing without clenching my abs and leaning into the turns. I cannot watch a men’s or women’s gold medal hockey game without doing a few hundred squats from rising off the couch in excitement. And if Canada doesn’t win both hockey golds, thousands of us will be balling in a corner, in a nationally-inspired yoga move, also known as Child’s Pose.

The yoga pose Canadians will adopt if our hockey teams don't win gold.

Watching the Olympics just may be the original Wii Fit.

Here’s to putting the kids to bed early so I can watch even more Olympic coverage.

Photo courtesy of Daniel Case, used under a Creative Commons ShareAlike License